Why these things called misunderstanding/expectations/grudges have so much
uncalled-for-presence in my life...
Do I myself allow them to barge in or they jus perpetually been dropped down from sky? However the point is, bro if ever u get your hand on this blog do read the next few words as the purest form of truth ...
"I miss you.. more than anything in this world... I see you in my childhood.. I see u in my future.. but I cant just figure you out in my present... I am a jerk.. I just cant say it but deep down I really want you to know that i need you the most in this world... I am still your younger sis who needs your staunch support and a protective hand to sail me through these times."
Come Soon
Anyway, in a conversation over lunch, my close friend endowed me with some observations.
The first one blatantly said that I have too many "grudges" in my life... May be yes... probably because I think I expect too much out of my life.. but then wats wrong in it? whatever it is, its my life then why not expect ? Something which is probably wrong is that am not working to come upto those expectations
At that time, since the food was super yummy and chilly I couldnt really come up with a suitable answer so I randomly said I have grudges because I planned my life in a certain fashion and trust me God made sure that, that particular fashion is just not followed.
May be I have too many plans / options for my life...
She cut me short and said... u think ur at an age when u can sit with a cup of coffee and just browse through the umpteen options you have, just like a 10th grade student who is confused between taking up math or biology... She might be right... I haven't really moved on in life... I still think too much and want too much.. I cant decide upon a particular thing... be it clothes or work(no food included in this... in that area am so perfect that i can instantly come up with wat-stomach-wants !!!)
I still live in the present and working to make the day well spent, and give a damn to future... May be my approach is just not suiting the present circumstances.... or may be this is indeed the right approach wherein I do things as the come and stop worrying abt a well planned future, because then the entire universe conspires to do just the opposite :)
I need time.. a lot of it... not to think but to act on a thing which I think the most... The thing which I actually want to do not arbitrarily but for years to come.....
Grudges are there in everyone's life. Some chose to ignore them, some caring ones chose to live with them. If your grudges are because of your expectations from certain people, then you should stop expecting from them. Let them surprise you by what then can do. And it will feel far better then :-)
ReplyDeleteCall bhaiya :-) If he is not starting it, you should.