First the Sankranti and then this Holi.... I am still not able to absorb the fact that she isnt around.. how can she be not around. How can she not make gur ka laddu for me.. How can she not ask me to play less awful Holi and make gujiya for me.
Its been 3 months since I last saw her alive and never in my dreams I thought that I could survive without her. The very thought of her absence didnt cross my mind even once. I thought that such a thing could never happen.. She is here to stay... With me for ever n ever. I still remember the dreadful day of 6th December when she just gave a 3 days notice (which I never realised) and left me all alone on 9th.
People say good that she didn't suffer for long... But then why did she love me so muc so that I suffer for all my life. I am a selfish person, I cant stay happy thinking of the moments I had spent with her.. I want more of her and her love. .
I was never this close to her since my childhood.. she in jaipur n I was in Bhopal/Hyd/Delhi.
But the last 2 yrs changed my entire life. My entire being revolved around her after I shifted to jaipur.
Never I thought that someone could actually every day call me up and ask if I have reached home.. I mean who does that ?
I use to fight n cry to bring her at my place .. in fact I use to wait for my turn ki kab mera turn aayega n she will com n stay with me.
She use to talk minimal.. but we use to have our gossip time at night. She use to talk abt everything.. I use to share everything with her.. No matter how silly it was. It was all so good with her around. I actually associated myself with being a Rajasthani because of her... The importance of every festival was because of her.
I still dont have a pic of hers in my room... probably because I am still living in the falsity that she is around... She is listening to me .. somewhere..
I was not able to believe my eyes when they bought her home and said she isnt anymore. I was dragged to her as I was stubborn that it isnt just true. Her body was cold... Her eyes were taken away as per her will.
She was draped in the saree I gave her just a month back saying she would look awesome in that and she hated me for wasting money on her.
I miss her... everyday.. everytime I visit her room... I dont go there now... I am somehow uncomfortable. I opened her wardrobe the other day... it so smells of her even today.. I miss gur ka laddu I miss her roti I miss her "roth"
Its good to at times live in illusions... she is with me and always be around.. She cant betray me...
I just cant do without her.
Its been 3 months since I last saw her alive and never in my dreams I thought that I could survive without her. The very thought of her absence didnt cross my mind even once. I thought that such a thing could never happen.. She is here to stay... With me for ever n ever. I still remember the dreadful day of 6th December when she just gave a 3 days notice (which I never realised) and left me all alone on 9th.
People say good that she didn't suffer for long... But then why did she love me so muc so that I suffer for all my life. I am a selfish person, I cant stay happy thinking of the moments I had spent with her.. I want more of her and her love. .
I was never this close to her since my childhood.. she in jaipur n I was in Bhopal/Hyd/Delhi.
But the last 2 yrs changed my entire life. My entire being revolved around her after I shifted to jaipur.
Never I thought that someone could actually every day call me up and ask if I have reached home.. I mean who does that ?
I use to fight n cry to bring her at my place .. in fact I use to wait for my turn ki kab mera turn aayega n she will com n stay with me.
She use to talk minimal.. but we use to have our gossip time at night. She use to talk abt everything.. I use to share everything with her.. No matter how silly it was. It was all so good with her around. I actually associated myself with being a Rajasthani because of her... The importance of every festival was because of her.
I still dont have a pic of hers in my room... probably because I am still living in the falsity that she is around... She is listening to me .. somewhere..
I was not able to believe my eyes when they bought her home and said she isnt anymore. I was dragged to her as I was stubborn that it isnt just true. Her body was cold... Her eyes were taken away as per her will.
She was draped in the saree I gave her just a month back saying she would look awesome in that and she hated me for wasting money on her.
I miss her... everyday.. everytime I visit her room... I dont go there now... I am somehow uncomfortable. I opened her wardrobe the other day... it so smells of her even today.. I miss gur ka laddu I miss her roti I miss her "roth"
Its good to at times live in illusions... she is with me and always be around.. She cant betray me...
I just cant do without her.
