To My Daughter .. with all my love :)

Dear My Sweetest Heart :)

Meri aakhon ka tara mere budhape ka sahara :)

I do feel that this idea is weird to its core to write you so early. I dont know when will you be reading this how will you get through this .... but one thing am sure of.. one day you Will read this and hence am writing.

I am 24.. running close to 25.. when you read this probably you ll be around the same age... a lil cranky a lil moody.. a lil chirpy a lil sloppy.. a lil weird a lil unpredictable. But I know you will be my Happy child.

We always wished you to have a name .. Veralika ? Do you really have it ? like it ?

I dont know if you ll bear the characteristics of your father or of mine, but yes you will always be unique..

Dont try to imitate anyone.. because you are gifted in your own special ways.. which of course will be hidden for the due course of time.

Do you like Biology the way I do? Do you get bewildered by the very thought of Physics? Do you like to paint? Do you how your parents met? Do you like to keep a low profile or a loud ones like me ?

I hope u stay a happy child.. Hope we share a great chemistry.

The point of writing this letter to you is that you get to know "this" me and not "that" me which i might be that time. I dont know what parenting means by far ... So i wish to tell you more about me.. i want you to know what i think what i believe in and what all ideals i have preserved for you. I do not wish to plug them onto you ... But i want just want you to meet me...

Right now am at a stage when the world becomes meaningless ... things take their own shape and am trying to change them according to my whims. I get aggressive I get annoying.. I get unbashingly argumentative i get bewildered.... i get silly but above all I still hang on to the real me.. I dont put any facade, even if am not liked by the community as a whole

I want to do so many things with life .. one day i wish to study and the other moment I feel like going on an extended vacation ... all alone .. finding the real meaning of my existence.

I want to change the world... i want to bring in new meanings to the teaching arena of the country... but for now am stuck....at a filthy job...

This point of life.. makes me so strong on my convictions that at times world (read ur grand mom n dad) seems an enemy to me..

I get freaked out at their silly thoughts of setting me off with any tom dick n harry...

By the way.. they are not quite fond of your dad ... but eventually they will... as much as you will be... :)

I fight a lot with my parents... Its normal... We are going through a rough patch...

May be we will fight with the same vigor but I assure you no matter how big the fight is I will try to mend my ways :)

There are so many things I wish you should know about me... no matter they ll be trivial by the time you read this... still They are special to me

I wont give you any gyan here... because i know i shall rear you to be a mature, elegant and an idealistic lady

But yes some piece of advice... This is here because I know considering my memory I will forget all these vices and might end up boring you with my age-old thoughts

Always Remember the day which passes away never comes back... Look at yourself in the mirror and ask what did you do today to change you life for better or even for that matter someone else's life..

Be proud of yourself... Dont bear any guilt... just like your father... Do everything under the sun to get things done so that there isnt any regret... I tried my best to live a regret-free life but I couldnt

No matter what world throws at you.. take it up wid chin up attitude.. Dont ever Budge for something u know is wrong.. Be brave.. and speak your mind.. no matter how bitter it is

Stick to the difference between white and black... never .. ever go in shades of grey.. they are always perplexing.

I hope that wid "us" around, you will never fall short of words and numbers... Yes Promise we wont force it onto u.

Happiness always starts from within.. so if u want to see us happy remain happy

Try reasoning out things... the one thing i lack in myself...

I dont expect you to be super ambitious or career-oriented.. But yes Do what you think will make you happy for decades to come and not for arbitrary pleasures (such a societal pressure of being a doc or engg)

Do you Pray the way I do? Do you believe in God ? I have no clue at your time what view world will take of this entity called God..

I wish you could... So that you know that there is someone who rests by your side when the world stands against you .

Dont ever try to mould the way people would like to see you... U have your own identity and its Superb... Trust me

One gift you should give to yourself... A best Friend ... I had them in plenty and thus my life was a beautiful frame of naughtiness and playfullness... They will be the one who will play a major role in developing the way you think the way to take things

Though I dont expect you to be a nerd ... but try getting one thing done... Get yourself admitted to a superb degree college... Thats the place which will actually give dimensions to your personality... whatever you will be in future will be all because of your alma mater

Do watch the movie Pursuit of Happyness..

Do you Blog ? Do I know ?

Never ever think from your mind or heart alone... its the Gut feeling which will sail you through.

Always take opinion but frame your own because thats the thing which is yours.

Dream Big... Never stop yourself from aiming high ... Trust me without a dream you will see your life going on a plateau when you know you live the rocks

Enjoy each day like it’s the last one you’ll live. Is this saying still a cliché?

One day you will meet a guy you will fall in love with... or probably you mite have already ... I know and understand its the bestest feeling in the world to be loved by someone you love with all your heart.. How did it feel when you guys confronted ? for me it was super silly... Do ask me about it ..

And yes for now I agree .. love do happens multiple times in a single life span (opinions are subjected to change with time)

Always love Us and our parents ... am sure no matter how un-understanding we guys get but we will love you with all our heart :)

Listen Kid ...I love you.... By far I havent seen you .. it seems am writing this all to myself

Is it like a selfish letter ? In a way.. may be .. but trust me... I am letting my heart out to you...

Keep Smiling and Stay Happy ... Life is just about this

Move On....

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day

yes this is exactly wats happening to each n everyday of my mere existence...Its like i dont knw wat am actually living for... or am here jus because am waiting for something better to come my way... yes am waiting but not taking any effort... and even when i feel like taking any effort i dont understand in which direction i wish to move in...

1 moment i feel like staying back with my stagnating job.. and other moment i feel like breaking free and doing something else.. here something refers to like million of things

You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way

Yes i fritter.. my day my night into something i can never comprehend..

am jus wishing for my life to turn upside down...

At times i feel I am left with no motive no zeal in life... The only thing I can see is living with a person i want to... Its like then my actual life will start.. the i ll be able to look beyond..

Considering the Maslow's need hierarchy theory.. am at a stage called Security : where Security has a lil twisted meaning.. for me i need to get secured from one end and that is living with the person i wish to in city i wish to.. then in actual sense my mind will start rolling..

here am not justifying that this is a right attitude.. hell not... But i think its not totally unjustifiable.. The point is I wish to achieve something.. that aim should be unconditional.. if my entire motivation of doing something better with my life is depending on jus one happening then something is seriously wrong...

I waste hours n hours in a job which is a non-value-addition job.. which i knw am not doing by my will... waste hours talking to people thinking that may be talking to someone mite help me striking the bulls eye...
then after a while I realise all these solutions come from within... No other soul can help me tackle this... Then this guilt arrives of wasting hours n hours with nonsensical things and not doing what i should

Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town

Jus strolling around the same thoughts... same .....things which mite make sense to me

Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

heck ! why this itch is there in my mind that "someone ... something".. Why am i unable to help myself ? why am i so dependent on external elements to help me out with my own psyche issues ? The answer has to come from within and I know one day when this thought will Travel from my heart to my mind... i will muster up the courage to Break-Free... That will be the time when I will use up all my abilites to work for "that" thing and i know it will be right and it will be mine

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain

The phase has gone when things were going eay with me ... But i certainly wish the non-serious life to come back... life at my home town (bhopal) life with my frenz life with colours with rains life with games with festivals with innocence .. life which had much more substance ... which had the spark of living the brightness... life with an aim life with a GOAL... no matter achievable or not.. but but belief of winning and not fear of losing !

You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today

at 24 Do i feel young ? or do i feel i have lived too much ... or the fact that i have lived too much in other's way.... or am i lost in the process.. the real me is lost... Have I given up on life Or Am still carrying that killers instinct to fight against all odds?

This is the time when i can actually have all the liberties to change my "entire" coming life.. Seems I am rather killing my time in thinking rather than doing... Does this happens to everyone or am being too weird for this planet ? After an year I succeeded in figuring out wat i "dont" want outta my life... but dont know wat I actually want.. and if this question continues to persists then I am not doing justice to myself

And then one day you find ten years have got behind you

No one told you when to run,

you missed the starting gun…

I certainly dont want these lines to come to... common who would

But am scared... considering the pace am going with n the useless approach am having

I know that things cant go awfully wrong with me ... I will make it through

But i need to fasten my pace ... pull up my socks now.. I need to actually "do" things rather than jus thinking about them.....

My life cant stop because jus few things are taking time to happen... They will eventually happen... but till the i need to pack my bags and RUN... before i miss the starting gun