The 20s... someone...

The 20s... Someone...

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing
that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.
You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two,
but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.


You start realizing that people are selfish and that,
maybe, those friends that you thought you were closest to aren't exactly the
greatest people you have ever met.
You constantly come across friends throwing away shit on you because of certain things which you never intended to do
You realise that you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones :(
What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold,
mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you are.


You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought
you would be doing, or maybe you are looking That Thing and realizing
that you have to start at the bottom or may be you are just not upto it and that scares you.


Your opinions have gotten stronger. You are reluctant to change.
You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual
because suddenly you realize that you have certain demarcations in your life
and are constantly adding things to this of what is acceptable and what isn't.
One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.


You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone
and scared and confused.
Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to your past life,
but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away,
and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward (irrespective of your will)


You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you.
Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better.
Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why
you're doing this because you know that you aren't that a bad person.
You want to settle down for good because now all of a sudden that becomes top priority.
Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.
You begin to think a companion for life is better than a hundred in the shack
and for once you would not mind standing tall for that special someone which otherwise you had never thought of until now.


You go through the same emotions and questions over and over,
talk with your friends about the same topics because you dont seem to make a decision.
You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...
and while winning the race would be great, but right now you'd just dont want to be a contender!

And I dont want to be a contender!

I dont say that I want this phase to pass away soon...
But I want it to be a little easy on me...

This too shall pass